Welcome to a very well done Castlevania-esque shooter style 2d side scrolling adventure game. Blue Guardian is very reminiscent of games of old and really nails down that side scrolling feel. This is a sex game but I would more classify it as a game heavy in nudity, but more on that later. Not much to introduce other than the fact that Blue Guardian is a game about saving the planet and shooting monsters to accomplish said goal.
You are as the title implies the Blue Guardian named Margaret you were empowered by the god Zeus to defend the tower and the planet. You are informed by your brother Apollo that monsters have attacked the sacred tower and threaten to stop all circulation of clean water on the planet. You must spring into action using your god like agility and accuracy to eliminate the monsters and restore the tower to the guardians control thus saving the planet. The save the world theme is as common as you might think. Nothing all that creative is going on in this story but that's okay as long as the game play makes up for these shortcomings.
This game is pretty shallow on the writing side of the pool if you know what I mean. Other than the introduction which sets up the plot of the game in a brief but to the point manner the story is very self explanatory from there consisting of event triggered dialogue. You come across a fallen human soldier and ask him what happened and he tells you why he is on his ass and to be careful. That is about the extent of the in game story and dialogue. If you are looking for cerebral thought provoking writing here this will not wet your appetite. Art and graphics: The art and graphics in this game are bright and well rendered. I couldn't ask for more to be honest with you and as I played this game I found myself highly satisfied with the viewing experience. The environments are well done with great textures and provide you with a feeling that you are really in a dangerous situation. Both the land and underwater sequences have well done enemy models and the modeling of our main character is quite well done. There was no choppiness in the animation and the frame rate held steady. The collision detection is almost perfect in this game and it is great to see that considering this is an issue with many low budget side scrollers.
The music is very nice and soothing and oddly does kind of give you a water world vibe when you listen to it. When I say “water world” vibe I am not speaking of the film but rather just the feeling of water and wetness. The sound effects are acceptable and do not get old at all. Gun fire and the sound of ejecting shells is very nice and well one. The sounds Margaret makes during certain actions is also well done such as when she is drowning or simply jumping. There is no shortage of sound effects in this game and that makes for a nice non-repetitive experience. The special music that plays during boss battles gets your adrenaline pumping and ready for action.
Blue Guardian is a great game. Unfortunately it isn't really a sex game. I know, I know why am I reviewing this game if it isn't a sex game! Well it is definitely a SEXY game okay? While there is no penetration other than a rat penetrating your ass cheeks with it's sharp teeth and there is no sex to speak of there is in fact plenty of nudity. At save spots you can dress up Margaret in three optional attires. One is a fully clothed option which I used for most of this review, second is panties only with your big tits exposed, and the third is completely nude. You can choose how naked you want to be while you play. Of course if you take damage fully clothed in the game your clothes will rip off gradually until you are completely nude. Other than the lack of sex this is a great game as I said before. You probably wont blow your load playing this but you may blow your mind. It is a difficult engaging game that requires puzzle solving and concentration to complete especially on the hardest difficulty. If you love action and shooting monsters with your huge boobs flapping in the wind you may find this game worth the money and time.
• Great action sequences and boss battles
• smooth animations
• great environments
• good graphics
• good sound
• Shallow story
• No sex at all
• game cannot be played in full screen